


Captivity

by FrootTheBat



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Canon Compliant, Child Abuse, Child Murder, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Dark, Death, During Canon, Harm to Children, Human Trafficking, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, Minor Character Death, No Plot/Plotless, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad, Short One Shot, Starvation, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrootTheBat/pseuds/FrootTheBat
Summary: A collection of stories/poems surrounding the Phantomhive twins during the flashbacks shown in Chapters 135 & 136.
Kudos: 11





	1. Captivity

**Author's Note:**

> These one-shots are going to be dark, they are going to be sad, they revolve around the kidnapping of the Phantomhive twins- as well as the rape and torture they experienced leading up to Ciel's death. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, don't read. 
> 
> Please note that the "Ciel" in this fic is the real Ciel, I have left our Ciel nameless for the majority of these short stories.

**_Chapter Summary;_ ** _A ten year old Ciel and his brother discuss their captivity. (Takes place during Chapter 135)_

* * *

Ciel’s stomach had stopped growling several days ago.

Though the feeling of hunger was more than scarce as of late, it seemed that his body was no longer deeming it necessary to tell him. As he laid on his back and watched the ceiling, his stomach clenched painfully. The sharp, stabbing sensation twirled his abdomen in circles, pulling and ripping away at his gut. 

He squeezed his brother’s hand, and tried to force himself to sleep- knowing he would not feel hunger then. It’s only a few moments later that his mind begins to wander. He finds himself thinking about sweets, parfaits, gâteau au chocolat, and marzipan- and curls in on himself as his stomach lurches painfully. 

The thought of food hurts nearly as much as the lack of it.

After a while he thinks that he wouldn’t be able to eat; even if there were a whole buffet in front of him. His stomach clenches coldly at the thought of eating and sicking up. It’s been several days of only taking in water and mint; which had only done so much to sedate the feeling in his belly. 

As he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fist, Ciel tried to get comfortable on his back- squirming to try and escape the cold metal beneath him. He squeezed his brother’s hand again, and wondered briefly if his twin was having difficulty sleeping as well; his answer came in the form of his hand being gently squeezed back. 

“Ciel…? Are you… Are you still awake?” Ciel saw the other boy’s figure shift and sit up in the dark, and squinted to make out the features of a face not all that different to his own. 

“I am.” Ciel admits in a soft murmur, trying to sound as comforting as he possibly could, “can’t sleep,” he adds quietly.

“Me either,” is the response, “I’m hungry,” his voice is soft and hoarse, and Ciel can only be reminded of the boy's screaming earlier that day. The sound had been echoing in his mind for hours that night.

“I know,” Ciel whispered, sitting up to meet his brother’s eyes, “I’m sorry…” He added as he continued to clutch his brother’s hand- reassured that he wasn’t alone. He winced when his stomach clenched excruciatingly and squeezed his eyes shut- willing the pain to go away.

They sat in silence for a short period, and Ciel figured that they would be that way for a while. There wasn’t much that they could say, after all. It was several moments before the other boy’s voice spoke up, “do you think… Do you think we’ll ever see the sun again?”

Ciel is somewhat shocked by his younger brother’s question, but scrambled to answer, “I think… We might,” he said thoughtfully, “eventually,” he added softly, as he stared down at their pale, interlocked hands.

“I don’t think we will…” His brother whispered bluntly, “not now, not ever. Not if they don’t want us to.”

Ciel fell silent and clenched his empty fist, digging his nails deep into his palms. “We are going to get out of this,” he tries to say confidently, “we will get free.” 

His brother sighs deeply, “I’m hungry, Ciel,” he said again, sadly, “do you remember the last time we’ve eaten anything?” 

Ciel tries to think for a moment, biting down hard on his dry, cracked lip- until he could faintly taste copper. “It was… When they brought us… When they brought us here,” he murmured, “the same day that they…” He flinched at the memory, and stopped speaking, knowing he didn’t have to say what was done.

“When they hurt us,” his brother fills in, staring up at the ceiling with eyes filled with tears, “that was nineteen days ago,” he whispers hoarsley, pulling his hand out of Ciel’s grip and holding his sides, “they brought us here after they burned us…” he mumbled, “that was seventeen days ago.” He smiled bitterly, “do you think our family celebrated Christmas without us? It was nine days ago.”

Ciel stared at his brother in shock and unsure how to respond, “they’re looking for us,” he bit back, tone firm, “Aunt Anne… Aunt Francis… Chlaus… Diedrich… They’re looking for us,” he repeated strongly, “they wouldn’t just leave us…” 

“Unless they thought we were _dead,”_ his brother said with a bitter look, “and why wouldn’t they?” The other boy forced a laugh, “did you see them, Ciel? The maids, the butlers, the chef, they were all _dead._ ” He tugged at his hair with one hand, “mother and father- they were covered in blood, Ciel. They just… They were just lying there, staring without blinking, _dead.”_ Tears flowed down his cheeks from frantic eyes. 

Ciel shuddered at the thought and continued to stare at his lap, “they wouldn’t have found our bodies,” he murmured, “they would know we’re not dead,” he said, trying to sound confident, “they _are_ looking for us-” 

“But for how long?” He snapped back, “they have to give up at some point,” he gave one final yank at his hair, ripping a chunk of the blue-black from his head, before staring at it in detest. “They won’t search forever,” he said, “what reason do they have to look at all?” He began to tug at his hair again, and Ciel saw that his hands were shaking furiously, “if they find us, we’ll only be a burden on them again-”

“ _Stop it!_ ” Ciel grabbed his hand, pulling them away from his hair, “they’re going to look for us, we are going to get out of here,” he said firmly, “you need to stop thinking like that-” 

His brother’s face was tear-stained and pale, with torn lips and bruises littering his jaw and neck; Ciel knew that wasn’t the extent of his injuries. His twin didn’t respond, but instead continued to cry, shoulders shaking slightly. Ciel could feel his own eyes well with tears as he continued, “we are going to get out of here, I know it.” 

His brother calmed ever so slightly, but still sniffled as he bit down hard on his bottom lip, “I’m so hungry, Ciel,” he whispered, “even… even if they’re looking for us… I think… I think we’re going to die here.” 

“What?!” Ciel gasped slightly, “n-no… we… we can’t die here-” he said, terror lacing his tone at the suggestion. “You can’t think like that-” he said frantically, “we’re not going to die-” he repeated. 

“I feel like an animal, Ciel,” was the response, flat and monotone. “I feel like an animal in a cage, stolen from the wild for their entertainment,” he clutched tightly at his arms, “they decide what happens to us,” he murmured. “They put us in their fancy clothes, they… they hurt us… they burned us with marks like collars on a dog…” He dug his nails into his skin, “if they no longer want us around, what are we to do about it?” He dug his nails into his skin, “if they no longer want us around, what are we to do about it?” He questioned fervently, “we can’t fight back. We’re not strong enough.” 

“They… They wouldn’t kill us,” Ciel tried to say quietly, reaching out to put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, but even then- his tone was unsure.

“They wouldn’t?” His brother retorted, pulling away, “they already did… did those awful things,” he squirmed slightly as he remembered the event, “they didn’t care when they hurt us before, why would they now?” 

“I… I don’t know…” Ciel admitted softly, watching as his brother lay back down on the floor of their cage, “I guess they wouldn’t…” He said softly as he gripped the chain around his collar, twisting it in his hands.

His brother gave a forced smile, “no, they wouldn’t,” he said, “but maybe… maybe I’m wrong,” he said, “but I know this… If we die… We’ll get to see mother and father again,” he said softly, “so maybe… maybe it’s not all that bad…” 

Ciel stared at him in shock, but didn’t respond. Instead, he shifted slightly, and lay down next to his brother, reaching out to grab the younger boy’s hand. He closed his eyes tightly and willed himself to fall asleep.

_Why can’t this all just be a bad dream?_

  
  



	2. Snowflakes

_**Chapter Summary;** Ciel thinks about how alike he and his brother are. _

* * *

He had a fever.

Ciel could feel the heat radiating from his brother’s forehead, and saw sluggishness in his eyes; he knew that the other boy wasn’t doing very well. His brother was ill- and their captors were doing nothing to help him. This angered Ciel- it was their fault he was ill, after all, so they should have helped him as the least. 

It was their fault, Ciel thought, for not giving them warm clothes- despite keeping them in a freezing cellar. A thin, threadbare button up shirt and trousers were all they’d been given, not even underclothes. And it had been weeks before they were granted food- rarely- in the form of a watered-down gruel, which felt like sharp ice going down. It did little to sedate their gnawing hunger, and Ciel knew that it was just to keep them alive. 

There had also been many times where the men had taken them from their cages- poking and prodding at them with needles; after which they would tremble and shake, and cry until morning wishing for it to _just stop, please._ Then there were the times where they were hurt much worse.

They would paddle the boys, whip them, and do _things_ that Ciel didn’t quite understand. All he knew was that the men were _hurting_ them, and he didn’t know why. What had they done to deserve this pain? 

Unlike the other boys being held there, Ciel forced himself not to cry- or at the very least tried not to. He would try to not scream, to stay quiet and not wail, he wouldn’t beg them for freedom. It was hard, and he often failed, but he knew that if he was strong, then maybe- just maybe- his brother would be hopeful.

His brother had always been the weaker of the two; easily frightened and easy to cry. He was sickly and had a hard time doing the same things as Ciel and Elizabeth- despite being the same age. 

When the men hurt them, he took it so much harder than Ciel did.

After the men prodded them with needles, the other boy would scream in pain for much longer than Ciel. Long after Ciel’s trembling had stopped, his brother would continue to shake and wail in pain. It had been several times that Ciel had watched his brother twitch and seize and scream as his body failed to relax.

It also seemed that the cruel men would take enjoyment in his younger brother’s weakness, Ciel realized. The men _liked_ when his brother would cry, when he would beg for them to stop, to be let go. They were hurting his brother, and they were _enjoying_ it. Oftentimes, they would leave many more wounds on his brother, bite marks and lashes that screamed angrily. 

It made Ciel’s blood boil.

His brother had always been the delicate one. Ciel knew that from the time they were both extremely young. Since that time, he’d known he would be the strong one; he hated seeing his little twin scared, he wanted to protect him… He wanted to make sure that his brother was always safe and happy… _And he’d failed_.

Ciel gave a small shudder as he pulled his brother in closer, wincing when the other boy didn’t so much as twitch. He pressed his fingers to the boy’s neck and sighed in relief at the weak fluttering of a pulse. 

“ _I’m sure there’s no such thing as God either._ ” 

Biting his lip, Ciel couldn’t help but remember his brother’s words from a few days prior. Staring down at the familiar face of his brother, he shook his head. _You’re wrong,_ he thought stubbornly, _there has to be a God._

He remembered his mother had once told him that no two snowflakes were alike, regardless of how similar they appeared from afar. Likewise, he and his brother may have looked quite similar on the surface. 

Ciel had always been taught how to be sociable and polite, learning to be an earl from a young age. He’d been taught how to keep his head up and act appropriate and scholarly. He’d gone through hours of lessons and learning how to be the perfect figure for the Phantomhive manor. 

His brother had not been taught the same things, mother had said that it was simply because he was only… 

Ciel’s spare. 

Ciel hated that word; he’d heard it used by several people in reference to his brother… “The spare.” Even mother and father had called him such. It was a rude word, in Ciel’s opinion. No one should have to be the second best to their own kin, it made them sound unwanted in the best-case-scenario. 

And yet, his brother never complained. He’d even used it to refer to himself on a rare occasion. It made Ciel feel sick, that his brother wasn’t viewed as important. His little brother… He may have been weaker, but… Ciel could see that he was so much stronger than he let on.

His little brother… He was stronger than Ciel… Despite being looked down on, he didn’t cry for better treatment. He had realized that he wouldn’t inherit the Phantomhive estate, and made his own plans to grow. He sat to the sidelines and just… Allowed himself to be the spare. 

He wanted to own a toy store, he wanted to grow up and make something of himself, and make other people happy as well. Ciel knew he would have never been able to do the same, had he been in such a position.

Ciel would have screamed, cried, begged for attention- for fairness. He would have wanted to be given a chance as well. If he had been born the sickly one, he would have gone outside anyways. He wouldn’t have let himself be the one left behind. Would have forced people to look at him, dote on him… 

He would have been selfish.

Ciel was selfish.

His brother was kind, considerate, he cared about others’ happiness and was willing to forgo his own. He knew that life was unfair, and he had accepted it. His brother was willing to change his path based on the pieces he was given- all without a complaint. His brother was so much better than himself…

If anyone was going to get out of here… His brother deserved to be that person.

Ciel felt the other boy give a slight shudder and began to run gentle fingers through his hair. “You’re going to be alright,” he murmured, “everything is going to be okay…” He whispered. 

He tried forcing himself into believing his own words, trying to convince himself that tomorrow would be different. _Someone_ was going to save them, he just _knew_ they would. Things would get better. 

But for now, he was cold, and he was hungry, and so very tired.

He lay back with his brother still clutched in his arms, hugging the other boy tightly and closing his eyes. _I’ll have enough hope for both of us,_ he thought as he began to drift off, _until you learn to be hopeful yourself._


	3. If and When

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ciel… What will we do if we’re saved? There’s nothing to go back to.”

“Ciel… Ciel wake up-”

There was a light prodding at Ciel’s side as he was roused from his dreamless sleep and he gave a small groan as he slowly opened his eyes to darkness. The room was mostly quiet, with the soft, ragged breathing of the other kids being the only thing that Ciel could hear. Likewise, he could only see as far as the bars of their cage, with the rest blotting away in an inky black.

The prodding at his side continued until he finally sat up- his sibling giving a soft sigh of relief. He rubbed at his eyes and squinted in an attempt to make out his brother’s face in the darkness. “What’s going on?” Ciel yawned as he stretched out slightly, wincing in pain when his wounds stung and screamed at the movement. 

It didn’t take long for him to full wake and become aware of his hunger as it began to stab at his belly- stinging and gripping at his stomach with an aggressive ferver. When his brother didn’t respond, he whispered “is everything alright?” as he reached for the other boy’s hand.

“I can’t sleep.” The soft voice replied as his twin gripped his hand rather tightly, shaking as he did so.

Ciel had been expecting that. His sibling had been extremely restless for quite some time now, and difficulties sleeping weren’t all that rare for him. Squeezing his hand back, Ciel nodded in understanding. “Do you want to talk until you can fall asleep?” He questioned in a whisper, as to not wake the other kids. 

Biting his lip, the other boy nodded and murmured a soft “please?” As his eyes glanced around himself, looking anxious and uneasy, as if they would get into trouble for being awake. Ciel knew that it was a possibility- they’d been yelled at before for being awake late- but he would risk trouble for his twin’s comfort. 

Shifting slightly, Ciel sat cross-legged and pulled his brother close, so that his back was resting against Ciel’s legs. He allowed himself to be pulled into Ciel’s arms as Ciel clutched him tightly. “What do you want to talk about?” Ciel questioned softly, beginning to comb through his brother’s hair with his fingers. He winced at the feeling of dirt and blood caked on the other’s head.

Closing his eyes, the boy tried to relax, and gave a small sigh as his muscles remained tense, “do you still think we’re going to be found?” He murmured softly, “we’ve been here for a really long time now…” 

“I do think so,” Ciel said rather firmly, “they are looking for us, I just know it.” He squeezed his brother lightly, “I think that… Maybe we’re far from home, which is why it’s taking them so long. We were in the carriage for a while, remember?” He rested his chin atop the other boy’s head. “We must just be a bit far away.”

“Ciel?” He could hear shakiness in the other voice.

“Yes?” Ciel responded, somewhat worried.

“Where will we go?” There was fear in his tone as he blinked back tears, clutching Ciel’s arm tightly. 

“What do you mean?” Ciel asked, confused. 

“If we are found,” his twin said softly, “what will we do if we’re saved? There’s nothing to go back to. No servants, no home, no mother, no father…” He swallowed thickly, “there’s no one to take care of us.” 

Ciel paused for a moment, somewhat taken aback by his brother’s question, “ _ when _ ” he said firmly, “we are found, Aunt Francis will help us,” he said, before adding, “and Aunt Anne, and Diedrich, and Chlaus-” 

There were a few beats of silence this time, before a soft murmur, “it won’t be the same.” 

“No. It won’t,” Ciel admitted, “without mother and father, nothing will ever be the same again,” he bit at his lip, “but Aunt Francis and Aunt Anne will still make things better. She’ll make sure we still get our lessons and she’ll make sure we’re fed and clothed and taken care of-” He said softly, “things will change, but they’ll become normal after some time.” 

_ I hope. _

“I don’t think Aunt Francis likes me very much,” was the soft response, “I don’t want to live with her.” 

Ciel frowned and tightened his grip on his brother once more, “don’t be silly,” he said dismissively, “Aunt Francis loves you,” he said with a strong tone, “very much, I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t think anyone likes me.” 

“Don’t be silly!” Ciel said, rather upset at that statement, “I like you, and so does all of our family.” 

“You don’t count,” his brother retorted, “you’re my twin. Saying you don’t like me would be like saying you don’t like yourself,” he forced a laugh, “we’ve been together too long for you to dislike me,” he cast his gaze downwards, “sometimes I begin to wonder if we’re the same person…” He fell silent before murmuring, “even if Aunt Francis did like me, I don’t think she’d want me around.”

“Don’t say things like that!” Ciel said rather quickly, “why wouldn’t she want you around?” He questioned, “she’s our family, and family takes care of family-”

“I don't feel like her family,” he muttered, “I don’t think anyone likes me as much as they love you,” he clenched his hands slightly. “I’m not as important. Sometimes I wonder why they put up with me at all.”

“Because  _ we love you, _ ” Ciel said seriously, “we’re your family,” he began to trace shapes on his brother’s head with his fingers, brushing out dirt and clumps of blood. “You should know that we care about you.” 

He took a deep breath, before sitting up, brushing away Ciel’s hands. “Ciel. They love  _ you, _ ” he murmured, “I don’t think they ever cared for me. Mother and father maybe but… Not anyone else.” 

“That’s not true at all!” 

“If they loved me, would they call me a spare?” His tone became deadly serious, and he didn’t turn to face Ciel. “If they loved me, would they pity me so much? Would they shake their heads and continue to whisper about me? Call me sickly and weak? Ciel. They love you. I don’t think they ever cared for me.” 

“You’re wrong,” Ciel said thickly as he watched his brother’s figure in the darkness, “they love you.” 

His twin shook his head, laying down away from Ciel, “they wouldn’t even realize if I didn’t come home.”

Ciel gave a sigh and realized that this would not be an argument he would win, so instead he lay down as well- resting his head against the cold metal of their cage. Trying to convince himself that what his sibling had said was not true.

But then again… It made sense.


End file.
